4, 2, 1, 3

I have chosen to be hurt.

You should've never hear my heart.

It was pumping craves through out of my chest:

longing to be found.

You've turned your back to me.

I cried myself to sleep.

In pain by the feelings I've caused.

Though, them you still not hear.

Why do I care for you?

I'd not know how to convey,

You came fast into my life.

How come I want that'd you stay.

Tell me how you want me to be.

Tell me what should I do.

Talk to me for a while,

Speak your mind to me.

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Credit or debit

You came early,

I came late.

I did not snob.

I did not wait.

I fell recklessly,

You grabbed me on air.

You did accept me.

You did take my hand.

My expectations are on the skies,

My body is under feet.

I hope you withdraw me whole,

I hope you bring me love.

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Malady

Lie: a word so small

so full of meaning

spreading like a virus

infecting all around

Cough, cough!

Lies you spread everywhere,

you did not love, 

you did not care.

Liar! Crier!

Superficial you are:

Appearances, you declare.

Fortunatly, I do not bare.

Once I was infected,

But now I found the cure.

Being away from you,

Living again in truth.

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< 3

All I ever knew wasn't enough:

knowledge and its enigmas;

feels and its tricks;

the ultimate measure of a heart.

I don't need a cardiologist,

I know where it stands,

I know how it breaks,

I know what it does:

It enables me to feel.

It disables me to be real.

What I feel versus what I know

Different parts of the same whole.

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'Bout time

Even though I can't remember,

I used to cringe my memory.

I tried not to realize:

there's death in being alive.

Black as the greatest of the hours,

I live in constant conflict of powers.

My mud soul still breathes,

But not enough for you plus me.

Late you came, dear.

But not too much, if you ask.

Late enough to bring joy,

Here where I stand barefeet,

Now: Awaken.

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Will it not

I have been alucinating

Where I've been mentally

No good thoughts approching

Aloof and full I am today

I'm wounded by tears,

Where I've lacked fears.

No great sensations arousing,

Dry and tired I am today.

Where I sit, who I stare, what I look

Doesn't matter anymore.

Who I am, where I've been, what I want

Don't really care.

I'm a good person and I never think about it

Whatever it was that I did back then,

I'm not a man to place blame.

Though you told that it was coming to an end.

Now I'm wounded by fears,

Where I've lacked tears.

No great outlines arousing,

Wet and tired I am today.

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